This
is the last quarter of my life as a junior high school student. To be honest, I
don’t know if I improved or developed something good during the previous
quarters. It has been difficult, and I managed to pass all my homework and
tasks that needed to be done, but I am not quite sure if I really learned
anything. Looking back on everything that I went through and accomplished from
the beginning of this school year made me wonder if I’m happy and contented with
what I did. I experienced a lot of difficulties, especially since I am far
away. I’m in Italy, and the time difference between Rome and the Philippines
really had an effect on my studies. For example, it was hard for me to manage
my time, thinking that I needed to pass all my answer sheets on time even
though the time was not enough. I could not attend all my online classes
because I’m still asleep during those times. I may have attended some of my
classes but not all of them because I get really tired when I do not have
enough sleep, and that is hard for me to handle since I also have to wake up
early to answer my modules. On the other hand, I discovered a lot of things
that could help me improve and boost my self-esteem and confidence.
For this
quarter, I realized what I needed to improve, develop, and learn. This quarter
has made me realize and learn a lot of things, not only about my studies but
also about myself. I don’t know if it’s too late for me to realize those
things. I feel insecure about those people around me who have
achieved many things. I always feel ashamed of myself that I couldn’t do
something that other people could easily do. Being a special-class student
during the pandemic was stressful and pressurizing. I always feel like I’m the
dumbest in our class because of this pandemic. It made me unable to write
essays without searching on Google for what to say and how to start it. I
answered and submitted my modules without completely understanding every lesson
and what is contained inside it. I couldn’t even write an English essay without
experiencing difficulties. It took me 4 years of studying in high school to
realize that I shouldn’t always stay in my comfort zone. I should go out to discover and learn so that I’ll have fewer or better, no regrets.
Moreover, I realized that I should stand on my own feet because I always rely
on other people, so now I am struggling. I don’t want to be like this anymore,
relying on other people, afraid to make something alone, and afraid of failing.
Nonetheless, I believe I can do it and I'll make myself happy
with what I will achieve in my future.
Moving
on, realizing so many things and being able to express them made me forget all
my worries for the future. I may have a lot to catch up on, but I promise
myself that I will make myself proud and those people who believe in me. I will
set aside all my worries and focus on improving and making myself better. Even
though I still don’t know much that I should have known at this age, I will
make sure I don’t let myself fall into the mud and just continue to be insecure
and jealous ‘til the end. I am thankful for who and what I have, but
I can’t help but want more until I no longer feel something hard to
deal with.
Reference/s:
https://athlosstcloud.org/calendar/2019-20-end-of-quarter-4/
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