The End but a New Beginning

 


This is the last quarter of my life as a junior high school student. To be honest, I don’t know if I improved or developed something good during the previous quarters. It has been difficult, and I managed to pass all my homework and tasks that needed to be done, but I am not quite sure if I really learned anything. Looking back on everything that I went through and accomplished from the beginning of this school year made me wonder if I’m happy and contented with what I did. I experienced a lot of difficulties, especially since I am far away. I’m in Italy, and the time difference between Rome and the Philippines really had an effect on my studies. For example, it was hard for me to manage my time, thinking that I needed to pass all my answer sheets on time even though the time was not enough. I could not attend all my online classes because I’m still asleep during those times. I may have attended some of my classes but not all of them because I get really tired when I do not have enough sleep, and that is hard for me to handle since I also have to wake up early to answer my modules. On the other hand, I discovered a lot of things that could help me improve and boost my self-esteem and confidence. 

For this quarter, I realized what I needed to improve, develop, and learn. This quarter has made me realize and learn a lot of things, not only about my studies but also about myself. I don’t know if it’s too late for me to realize those things. I feel insecure about those people around me who have achieved many things. I always feel ashamed of myself that I couldn’t do something that other people could easily do. Being a special-class student during the pandemic was stressful and pressurizing. I always feel like I’m the dumbest in our class because of this pandemic. It made me unable to write essays without searching on Google for what to say and how to start it. I answered and submitted my modules without completely understanding every lesson and what is contained inside it. I couldn’t even write an English essay without experiencing difficulties. It took me 4 years of studying in high school to realize that I shouldn’t always stay in my comfort zone. I should go out to discover and learn so that I’ll have fewer or better, no regrets. Moreover, I realized that I should stand on my own feet because I always rely on other people, so now I am struggling. I don’t want to be like this anymore, relying on other people, afraid to make something alone, and afraid of failing. Nonetheless, I believe I can do it and I'll make myself happy with what I will achieve in my future.

Moving on, realizing so many things and being able to express them made me forget all my worries for the future. I may have a lot to catch up on, but I promise myself that I will make myself proud and those people who believe in me. I will set aside all my worries and focus on improving and making myself better. Even though I still don’t know much that I should have known at this age, I will make sure I don’t let myself fall into the mud and just continue to be insecure and jealous ‘til the end. I am thankful for who and what I have, but I can’t help but want more until I no longer feel something hard to deal with.


Reference/s:

https://athlosstcloud.org/calendar/2019-20-end-of-quarter-4/

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